Religion is often deeply tied to identity and culture; announcing you no longer believe can result in strained, or even severed, relationships. Curious about the experiences of young Aussies who no longer believe, we spoke to three somethings from a range of religious backgrounds. Each grew up in a particularly conservative strain of their respective faiths.
From being cut off entirely, to leading double lives, their experiences share one thing in common: plenty of emotional upheaval. Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week. I've always been very believing in it, but now that I look back it was very blindly believing. I wasn't allowed to have sex before marriage. You're not allowed to drink much alcohol. You can't hang out with school friends, you can only hang out with people in the religion.
We didn't celebrate birthdays, Christmas or Easter. We weren't allowed to sing the national anthem at school, we'd have to stay seated — it would be really embarrassing. We went witnessing door-to-door preaching every Saturday morning, 9ampm. Every single door, people wouldn't be interested. I'd be so embarrassed.
I was raped at 14 by someone high up in the religion. I had very repressed memories from it, which only came out a few years ago after my kids were born. Responding to Sarah's claims, the Jehovah's Witnesses said that while it could not comment on individual cases, "violence, whether physical or emotional, is strongly condemned in the Bible and has no place in a Christian family". John - not his real name - became a Jehovah's Witness as a young child when his parents decided to join the religious group.
But two years ago, he was disfellowshipped after he missed a Jehovah's Witness memorial service - seen in the religion as an important event. He had also begun to privately have doubts about some of the religion's teachings - questioning the faith's assertion that the end of the world is imminent, and that only , human beings will go to heaven.
His view on the religion was also tarnished after ones of his friends died, when a blood transfusion - which is not allowed in the faith - might have saved him. John says he later discovered his wife had testified against him during the process that led to his disfellowship, which he believes placed a great strain on their relationship.
He left the family home - living temporarily in tents and caravans. I didn't have anyone, I felt quite suicidal," he says. He has now lost contact with his two adult children and siblings.
According to the Jehovah's Witnesses, the faith has more than , members in the UK, and more than eight million internationally.
My mother already treats me like I am dead. And to know that I am actively speaking against the organization would kill her. Tyler is not the woman's real name, but her pen name. She requested anonymity to avoid repercussions from relatives, though she's yearning to let the world know her story. Tyler was born and raised in Detroit and now lives in Eastpointe. They have two children, ages 11 and 8. Her husband has been her rock during what has been a tumultuous last seven years.
Since getting disfellowshipped, she was hospitalized several times for depression and went through suicidal periods. Will I ever see my mother again? Maybe three years ago? She said she and her husband recently told the congregation of their shunning experience and she could hear the gasps in the pews. Tyler said she was moved to go public with her story following the recent murder-suicide in Keego Harbor. When she learned the shooter was a shunned JW, she cringed, as did many others who believe the ostracism played a role in the killing.
With no one to turn to, they said, her world went dark. For Californian Kerry Kaye, the Keego Harbor killings triggered a host of emotions: anger, pain, frustration. She, too, is part of the ex-JW community and lost a very good friend to suicide more than 20 years ago.
Kaye was in her early 20s when her friend committed suicide after being disfellowshipped for getting pregnant out of wedlock. The woman was 20 years old and seven months pregnant at the time. She admits that she once shunned her own father at the direction of the church.
Kaye was 24 when she left the church. Her father had left the faith a few years earlier after the church pressured him to leave his government job, telling him he had to choose the faith or his work. He picked the job and disassociated himself. After she left, she said, she became suicidal. Doctors intervened and saved her life, she said. Eventually, she moved away from her hometown to raise her three children on her own, outside the organization. They are all college-educated now and thriving, she said.
And she has found peace as she has dedicated herself to helping others who feel trapped in the religion. When entire families are destroyed — it makes all of us who have been involved in this cult very angry. We want people to know what is really going on.
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